When someone we love dies, it hurts us. We feel sad that the person will no longer be around to talk to or to have fun with. That absence leaves a big hole in our lives. Maybe you had a pet that died. Remember the first few times you walked into the house after your dog or cat was gone? It was strange not to have your pet there. Maybe you cried — that's OK. We need to mourn, or grieve, over losing people and animals and other things we love.
But just like when you skin your knee, the first, intense pain will go away after a while. It takes time for your knee to heal, but it hurts less and less each day. It's the same when somebody dies. That doesn't mean we forget or stop missing people who died. After a while, we can go back to our lives, still loving them and remembering them always.
Remembering people we love who have died is one way to keep them a part of us. Pictures help us do this. Looking at a photo album can help us remember fun times we had together. Lots of families bury the bodies of loved ones in a cemetery. Then they can go and visit someone's grave. It's not that they think of the dead person as really being there, but it is a special place to go and think about how much that person meant to them.
What About Me?
When someone dies, you may start to wonder if the other people in your life will also die soon. You may ask yourself, "Will my mom or dad die?" or "Will I die?" The best thing you can do is share these thoughts with your family. It may be difficult — maybe even a little painful — to talk about these things, but it can feel good to share your feelings. It's important to talk about any fears you may have instead of hiding them or pretending you aren't scared. The people who love you want to know you're having these feelings so they can help.
Did you know you can also help the grownups around you when they're sad that someone has died? Can you remember a funny story about the person who died? Or something nice that person did for you? Tell the good stories you remember out loud. They will make everyone feel a little better.
If I'm Going to Die Someday, What Should I Do Now?
There are many things about death we do not know and may never know. We do know that it will happen, someday, to all of us. But you should not worry or wonder about it for very long. There are too many wonderful things to experience in the many, many years ahead.
